Love is a sham

Have you heard "You have to become the best version of yourself to find love?"

Well, what about not so best versions of me?
What about the worst parts of me?

What about the things that I just can't change about myself?

Loving the best version of me is easy because at that point I love myself enough to not care for someone to love me.

If you love the best version of me, you don't even know me, from where I come and how appear so strong and confident, but congratulations you have found yourself a good partner, someone who is always going to keep you happy.

But love? not so much.

If you call it love, I call it sham.

Because the best version of me is not constant, few months or few years in, the life will again break me and I will again be at a point where the darker, worst or weaker side of me will reappear.

But that love will stay with me then?

Happily? Willingly?

Will you not cuss me under your breath to stop fucking around and get my shit together? To stop embarrassing you?

Is that love?

When I am at my worst, God ! I fucking need love. If I find love at the worst version of me, I will never return to that version.

But I always find myself alone trying not to embarrass anyone.

Love is a campaign, an agenda to find better versions of people who do not embarrass us in front of others.

I don't want to be part of this campaign, this sham.

I will just let someone else embarrass you.

I will just be with myself at bad and good times, with the worst parts of me that needs someone.