One Last Act of Love

I had to let you go-
It broke me to do so. 
But you didn’t,
Couldn’t,
Wouldn’t, 
Love me in the way that I needed to be loved. 

I tried, I swear I did-
I fought myself, my heart, my mind, and my soul
Just to be able to keep you around-
I tried to put myself last and ignore what I knew had to happen. 

I knew from the beginning that I would have to let you go,
But I wanted to try to love you into the person that you hoped to be 
But you fell back into your old ways and left me behind. 

We thrived in the beginning,
We were happy, floating in the clouds,
But when things got real and I wanted commitment,
You let me fall from the clouds and hit the ground. 

I tried to return to normalcy after you showed me that commitment wasn’t what you wanted-
I told myself I’d be okay downplaying my feelings for you so I don’t scare you with the idea of commitment again, 
But I was only playing myself,
This was a ticket to hell. 

They say that it’s okay to be sad after making the right decision,
But I’m torn between choosing myself or someone else.

 I’m absolutely broken,
Distraught,
Disoriented, 
My heart has been stolen. 

I see you in everything, 
How can I crave the same person who hurt me so intensely?
So intently? 

You will never know how much hurt I feel,
I don’t know when I’ll heal,
Some days will be high, some low-
But as my last act of love, 

I let you go.