Trying to understand what seeks shelter within me.
Sitting
Steadily
Quietly
Wondering
Viciously
Restlessly
do I know this feeling
have we met before
do i call it by its name
do I know its name?
is it the loneliness that creeps quietly in me, and hangs its long, dark coat on my heart
pulling it down
making it heavy
hiding all that is light
leaving nothing but trapped moisture from my tears
growing black mold that embraces my insides slowly
eating at them, decaying
or is it anger?
that latches onto my brain
finding its home under my nails, fists and teeth
blinding me
numbing my senses
leaving nothing but accelerated breathing and muted screams
or is it the feeling of never being enough?
looking for myself
in the stars
in books
in charts
in other worlds
in words—
leaving nothing but a naked soul—
worn-out rug
placed by the front door of a hospital
pressed by countless feet
bearing the weight of all who cross
